Monday night, I had noticed my chinchilla, Oreo, vigorously doing something to his private parts-area with this mouth. I’d seen him try to mount the dog’s bed a couple of times over the weekend and figured perhaps he was just horny and, er… flexible.
However, just to be sure, when I got to work yesterday, I did some research, since I don’t know much about chinchillas (and frankly, hadn’t ever heard of one until Oreo came to us by accident). I discovered that male chinchillas don’t really perform self-, er… fellatio. But his actions could be a more serious problem, such as a hair ring that could be caught around the base of his little penis.
This, of course, freaked me out, because I tend to be a bit high-strung when it comes to animals in my care. But I read up on what to do and how to check, and last night….
I gave the chinchilla a hand job.
While my parents watched.
And he didn’t even buy me dinner first.
Joking aside, you have to have one person catch him (Dad) and hold him securely against his chest. Mom had to hold his feet because he was trying hard to escape. (I don’t blame him.) As for me, I had to lube up my fingers (I really am not making this up) and push his little penis sheath down to expose the organ itself. Fortunately, the Web site I checked had pictures as to what hair rings looked like and Oreo did not have one. Yay! Then I had to ease the sheath back over his little penis to protect it.
Poor little thing. The indignity of it all!
It didn’t occur to me later that with the new computers at work, they can check and see what you’re doing and where you go online. I wonder what they’ll think if they ever see that I spent my lunch break looking at pictures of a chinchilla penis.