Breaking up is hard to do.

Breaking up is hard to do.

There are many emotions involved. Sadness over the loss of something you’ve cultivated for years. Guilt over making such a tough decision, even though it had to be done. Regret, because even though the relationship is over, you still care.

Decisions such as these are never easy to make. But… there’s only so many channels I can record at once.

With the new fall season upon us, and with the crazy reshuffling of my favorite shows this year, I’ve had to make some cuts.

So, I’m sorry, “Ugly Betty.” I’m breaking up with you.

It’s not you, it’s me. No, wait… I take that back. It’s ABC, for moving you from your Thursday evening time slot to Friday nights at 8, where you conflict with “Medium” and “Dollhouse.” And since I’m forced to choose between the three of you, well, “Dollhouse” wins, with “Medium” a close second, earning a spot on the DVR. And “Ugly Betty” gets kicked to the curb.

That may sound a little harsh for a show I’ve been (mostly) faithful to for three seasons. But I’ve been with “Medium” for five seasons, and “Dollhouse” and I are still in the early, exciting days of our relationship (plus, I’d been involved with “Dollhouse’s” older siblings, “Buffy,” “Angel” and “Firefly,” for many, many years). Something had to give. And wannabe fashionistas with braces just can’t compete with psychics and Eliza Dushku.

“Ugly Betty” isn’t the only program I’m giving the “Dear John” treatment this season. “The Mentalist” has been given the boot as well. This time, though, it’s not so much of a scheduling conflict, as it is a lack of interest on my part. It was fun in the beginning, but the magic quickly evaporated for me. Pity. Simon Baker does make for some nice eye candy. But I guess we were just destined for a one-season stand.

“Survivor” is also on the chopping block. After 18 seasons, I guess I’ve finally had enough of the lying, the scheming, and the lack of clothing and general hygiene from my first reality show love. Plus, the locations don’t seem so exotic anymore. If you’ve seen one South Pacific beach, you’ve pretty much seen them all. Perhaps a change of venue is needed to breathe a little new life into the show. Drop the contestants somewhere really dangerous… like the streets of Miami, or better yet, the mountains of Appalachia. When “Survivor: Deliverance Country” premiers, give me a call.

Some shows and I are on dangerous footing. If this weren’t the last season of “Lost,” I’d probably have to look at how seriously I take that relationship. But, I’ve stuck it out this long — might as well see how it ends.

“Heroes,” Zachary Quinto and Masi Oka are your only saving graces right now.

I also fear my love affair with “Grey’s Anatomy” is coming to an end as well. I can’t understand what I ever saw in it, really. If I ever found myself needing medical treatment in Seattle, I would NOT want any of those self-involved doctors treating me.

But from the ashes of these doomed relationships, new ones are formed. I’ve been flirting with the promos for “Flash Forward” all summer, and two episodes into the season, I think there might be something there between us.

I’ve also embarked upon some experimentation with a new form of programming, the Webisode. “The Guild” is a weekly sitcom, streamed free on MSN. Written and starring one of my favorite up-and-coming actresses, Felicia Day, the show follows a motley crew of online gamers who one day decide to meet in person. (Gasp!) It also doesn’t hurt that each episode is between three and eight minutes long, perfect for those of us who have the attention span of a fruit fly when it comes to surfing the ‘Net.

Although… now that many programs are available online, perhaps my breakup with “Ugly Betty” won’t be as, well, ugly as I thought it might. There may be some wiggle room in the relationship after all.

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Filed under published writing, television

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