Twilight: Chapters 1-5

My impressions of Twilight so far.

Chapter one: Bella, honey, quit whining and get over yourself.

Chapter two: Edward disappears. Bella mopes, so nothing new there. Also, Forks sucks.

Chapter three: Bella is clumsy. Yes, we get that already! Can I join Team Tyler’s Van? Also, Forks sucks.

Chapter four: Bella’s been in town 2 (3?) weeks, and that Cullen kid is already telling her what to do. Does not bode well. Also, Forks sucks.

Chapter five: Bella is clumsy AND faints at the sight of blood. Oh, this relationship will last. Also, Forks sucks, but not as bad.


Now I think I shall go gorge myself on some “Angel” episodes in order to get the taste of faux vampire out of my mouth.


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