Finding refuge in “Dollhouse”

Even though it was announced a few weeks ago that “Dollhouse” was being canceled, I am still eagerly looking forward to the remain episodes, which begin tonight.

I’ve been a loyal viewer from the beginning, though at first I wasn’t sure I was going to like, as the series did have a bit of a slow start. But towards the middle of the season, it really started picking up. And then I bought the DVDs and watched the DVD-only episode “Epitaph One” and it really blew my mind.

It is a scary, scary future to think about… personality replacement being used as a weapon. But despite the apocalyptic future depicted in “Epitaph One,” I can’t help being fascinated by the concept of the Dollhouse. I’m about to lose some feminism points, I think, when I say that the idea of being a doll is somewhat… appealing to me.

I read a lot. I watch way too much TV for my own good. And I do these things as a form of escapism. “Dollhouse” plays fast and loose with the ideas of morality and ethics, but in a way that makes you think about them. And still, I find part of myself wishing I could be one of them. To escape my life, which I find hard to deal with at times, and to be something more exciting… even if I can’t remember any of it at the end of the day.

And I realize that makes me sound a bit crazy, because if you’ve seen the show, you’d know it’s not just about the exploitation of a body, but of the mind and soul.

And now, to make myself sound incredibly more emo (I’m totally blaming my recent foray into the insanity that is Twilight), I sometimes feel like an active awaiting assignment. I go through the motions of my day. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Watch TV. Go to bed. It’s like I’m waiting for my life to happen. What I wouldn’t give to be someone else, if only for a little while.

Of course, I could never be a doll, because I’m not smokin’ hot like Eliza Dushku, but I can understand why some of the characters chose to put themselves in that situation. Even if it is only fictional.

As I sit here at work, watching the clock tick ever more slowly towards quittin’ time, I eagerly await my two hours of escapism tonight, courtesy of the “Dollhouse.”

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