Giants of Pomona

Telling tales of your workplace isn’t a very professional thing to do, I know. But sometimes there’s a work-related story that’s just so … funny … that it can’t not be shared.

This happened about two years ago, but I was reminded of it the other night while watching television. When my coworker mentioned the incident out of the blue the next day, I decided to share the story. Because it’s just too wacky not to be shared.

Working at a newspaper, we sometimes hear all kinds of strange conspiracy theories about things going on in town. Most of the time there’s not much to them. Sometimes they do turn out to be true. In every case though, we are will to listen politely, in case there is a story there.

This guy though…

He came in on a Wednesday, which is a relatively slow day for us. Most of us were type-type-typing away, trying to get everything in order for the Friday paper. Heather, our assistant editor, brought him to her desk so he could tell her his story. None of us were paying much attention… until he mentioned UFOs.

All the typing in the office stopped simultaneously.

We tried not to look to obvious, straining to hear this tale. (We were also trying hard not to do anything to make Heather laugh. Even in the face of insane crack-pot stories, we must remain professional.)

There be giants in them thar hills!

The guy wanted Heather to do a story on gravesites he found out in the Pomona community that he had found that were older mankind. They contained the bodies of a race of giants. He wasn’t sure if they were alien beings, a race that predated mankind or the bodies of angels. He said that he had found similar gravesites in the Great Smoky Mountains, along with holy relics of some kind.

He said that if we could study these graves, we could learn about who we are and why we’re here. But there was a caveat. The graves caused cancer. Or rather, what we called cancer is some kind of disease that emanates from these graves, so anyone trying to study them would die. He had some really fuzzy pictures of the gravesites (and, according to Heather, one of the giants’ toilet). Heather, to her credit, managed to keep a straight face when she asked if he’d contact archaeologists about the site. He said he had, but that since he was the one to make the discovery, they told him that he could do what he wanted to it. Riiiight.

I do feel sorry for the guy, but … wow. I had no idea giant alien angels had once lived in the area, let alone so close to home! Too bad we didn’t follow up on it. We could have upped the tourism in this county and maybe even been featured on an episode of “Destination Truth.”

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