My cover band is now Wawa Skittletits

Someone on Facebook linked to Buzzfeed’s 25 Funniest Autocorrects of 2012 today. I spent the better part of 20 minutes shaking as I tried to contain my laughter. I don’t use text messaging myself, as my primary mode of keeping in contact with people is through Facebook, but sometimes I wish I had a smartphone so I could see what kind of hilarity would come of texting.


Reading the hilarious posts, I was reminded of an incident from my teenage years. This was before cell phones, kiddies. (Get off my lawn.) My friend Amelia was at my house and we were talking in front of my mother when she suddenly said, “Oh, hey. Did you pluck out that dick hair?”

I think the sound I made was similar to choking a half-dead chicken. First, I had no idea what she was talking about. Second, she said it in front of my mother. I turned red and stammered something like, “Wha??”

“That daycare. Did you apply to it?”


I have no idea how my mind turned “Did you apply at that daycare” into “Did you pluck out that dick hair.” But there you go. My brain autocorrects innocent questions into dirty thoughts.

Make of that what you will.


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