Category Archives: friends

My cover band is now Wawa Skittletits

Someone on Facebook linked to Buzzfeed’s 25 Funniest Autocorrects of 2012 today. I spent the better part of 20 minutes shaking as I tried to contain my laughter. I don’t use text messaging myself, as my primary mode of keeping in contact with people is through Facebook, but sometimes I wish I had a smartphone so I could see what kind of hilarity would come of texting.


Reading the hilarious posts, I was reminded of an incident from my teenage years. This was before cell phones, kiddies. (Get off my lawn.) My friend Amelia was at my house and we were talking in front of my mother when she suddenly said, “Oh, hey. Did you pluck out that dick hair?”

I think the sound I made was similar to choking a half-dead chicken. First, I had no idea what she was talking about. Second, she said it in front of my mother. I turned red and stammered something like, “Wha??”

“That daycare. Did you apply to it?”


I have no idea how my mind turned “Did you apply at that daycare” into “Did you pluck out that dick hair.” But there you go. My brain autocorrects innocent questions into dirty thoughts.

Make of that what you will.


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Filed under friends, stuff and nonsense, Uncategorized

Take a deep breath, you’re home now

I managed to survive the weekend. I really was dreading it, to the point of not leaving the house until the very last possible minute, and yelling at the poor dog as I was trying to get out of the house with all my stuff. I felt so guilty about that the whole way down.

The drive to Knoxville was made more bearable thanks to a couple of SModcasts I’d burned onto CD before leaving. The first one I listened to, SModcast #90, was so funny… I laughed so hard I was afraid I’d hit someone on the interstate because of the tears in my eyes. Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier discussed the latest Harry Potter movie… and if you’re at all familiar with Smith’s work, you know it was rude and crude and you’ll never look at Harry Potter in the same way again!

Got to my friends’ house where everyone was waiting to begin gaming. I used to love gaming, but I wasn’t looking forward at all to gaming this weekend. Mostly because it was a new system, plus it was a game in progress, and at first I felt so lost and extremely bored. But it got better, and I began to really get into it. Best of all, it gave me the beginnings of an idea for a story. I’ll have to mull it over and also wait and see how the game turns out. My character’s pretty interesting, and I’d love to write about her someday.

I started feeling sick halfway through the game and had to lie down for about an hour. I don’t know if I was just exhausted from having to be there or if I was having an anxiety attack, but right after dinner, I got really sick to my stomach. But after a little nap on the couch, I felt better.

We wrapped up around midnight EDT and I went to bed and slept for about nine hours, but woke up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all. I might not have slept really deeply since I wasn’t in my own bed. Plus I remember waking up several times because of the trains that run right next to their house. Those trains scare me. If they ever derail, it would kill everyone living in those townhouses.

Since my friend had had to go into work early, I didn’t get to see her before I left. I feel guilty about that, but I really didn’t want to stay late. I needed to get home early so I could get some rest, even though I am taking one of my lovely furlough days tomorrow to recover. Still, it was good to get home early.

And I shall end the evening by watching “True Blood” with Mom and going to bed early. It’s funny… when I was younger I couldn’t wait to be older so I could stay up later. Now I’m older and I can’t wait to go to bed early. Ah, the joys of getting older.

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Filed under friends, gaming, knoxville visit

Is it bad when you actually dread the weekend?

I think I was born without a punctuality gene. I don’t think I could get anywhere on time if my life depended on it. I’m never on time for work, but I figure, since I don’t get my lunch hour like I’m supposed to, it evens out in the end.

I’m going to visit some friends in Knoxville this weekend. I haven’t been to see them in over a year. I used to go maybe once a month or every other month, but last year I got sick. Then I got sicker. Then I had my gallbladder out. I’m feeling better, but still not 100% even though my surgery was last December. It’s been about a year since I got sick, and I don’t know why, but I just don’t feel like leaving the house much, beyond going to work or to the store.

Every nerve in my body is having a kicking and screaming fit because I have to go visit friends this weekend. It’s not that I don’t want to see them — I do! But I just don’t want to travel. Perhaps it’s because I tend to overstress myself at work that the weekends are my respite. And if I go out of town, I start feeling like my weekend has been stolen from me. The weekend is my time to rest, and I don’t get any when I go stay with them. I certainly don’t sleep well in any bed but my own. So I’ll come home Sunday afternoon feeling more tired than when I got home Friday evening.

It sucks that I feel this way. I wish I could afford to talk to a mental health professional. 😦

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Filed under friends, messed up me